A word for me...

              "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice!

            Let everyone see your gentleness. The Lord is near!

            Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell you requests to God.

            And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

            Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things."

Philippians 4:4-8

what I've learned in the last few days:

1. things that are left unspoken hurt the most;

2. when you have something to say, just say it: honesty is better than anything;

3. it can hurt, but any wound has its own bad-aid;

4. long weekends are not always good;

5. driving can help you clear up your mind;

6. when you ask God something, He answers;

7. cherish what you have;

8. when you're mad at someone, think not only about the things he/she is making you mad, remember those days when you were having a good time, too;

9. whatever happens, don't let your anger to control your mind.

    

         You know, when something about someone bothers you but you don't really get the time to sit and talk with the other person. In time, that little something will bring out some other little things and this is how you can even ruin a friendship or a relationship. No worries, what happened to me wasn't that tragic, but it could've been. But, this is not the important thing in this post. I'm trying to get the attention to how God still answers prayers, exactly when you need it, and He's always, always very clear in His answers. This week I kind of hit a whole in my not really easy road, and I kind of got stuck. Got stuck in angry, in selfishness, in things I've never said and was expecting the other to know about them. I forgot, for a while, nobody, not even the closest person to my heart, can "read" me if I don't want to. From that thoughts, it was needed just one single very small step to start thinking my freedom is gone, and I can't do anything I want to anymore. Anyway, the thing is, some pretty reasonable reasons made me really furious and a huge fight just started. It doesn't really matter how it ends, it just matters that Sunday evening I left home to go to church with a heavy heart, tears in my eyes, and the most honest prayer I've ever made: "God, please, speak to my heart tonight!" A desperate prayer, in the same time. *why do we pray so intense only when we are in or have some problem?* The whole entire service was especially for me. Nobody knew what was in my heart, but every single word, every single song was said and sang for my heart. After the first prayer such a peace came over me, and anyway I knew I still have to take care and finish the problems, I could think clear again. Like the clouds when the sun comes out. Suddenly, everything was shinny and I could've seen the things perfectly. I felt God standing there and holding me in His arms. I wanted that feeling never ever to leave me. The most special thing was at the end: those verses from Philippians 4:-8 were read. It was like God Himself was telling me those words. And I felt guilty. It says there to rejoice. I wasn't happy at all, my gentleness was miles away. That evening I was nothing but cruel and harsh, without even wanting to listen what the other had to say. Here comes another spank! "Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell you requests to God." I didn't go to God from the first time. I waited till the last minute, when things were pretty ugly. The preacher said yesterday that, in life, nobody will be exempt from hard times and different burdens. The only difference between those who have God in their hearts and those who don't, is that the ones who have God have a hope. They know God provides. They might not know why it has to be that way, but they know God holds 'em in His hands. Then, the beautiful part: "And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." The peace that I got. The peace that keeps you in place, that gives you the courage to take time, think about solutions and how to get to them. The peace that gives you the strength to smile instead of cry, to hope and fight for, instead of losing faith and complaining. 

               In the end, the last verse, "whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things." is an advice for what I should do next time when I feel the same. Actually, to make a lifestyle out if it.