Friday, April 2, 2010

Odds of Life...

        Don't you find it people interesting? I will talk only about me, cause I don't wanna hurt anybody, but there is certainly at least one person in the world who could relate with what I'm gonna say. First, life is not the best thing that happens to me right now. Actually, no. It's not said properly. Life is the best thing, only the obstacles are not the best gifts to get. My life is shakin' right now. Everything is a big huge ? (question mark). And when I say it, is serious. Really. I find myself here, in this point, with stupid problems that I make them myself and after that I cry that I'm overwhelmed. And I don't even know if this is the truth about my life in this moment. I said it in the last post, if you have something to say, just say it. And things that are left unspoken hurt the most. Still, I don't practice them. Because of that small thing left unspoken, now I have millions of things I'm not pleased with; wait, nothing pleases me now. If you talk, why you say that. If you don't say anything, why are you quiet? And people that surround me are not helping. Not at all. Not that they would have any idea of what I'm going through right now, but still.. See?? Isn't it odd? I'm not even sharing my problem with somebody and I expect them to act like they'd know 'bout it and like they'd understand me perfectly. And I don't even know if I'm right in this mess I've got myself into. My mistake is that I didn't take the time to sit down, calmly think about things, what happened, how did I get here, what changed and what should I change myself about. Ok, this week I didn't have time. But this is unforgivable, it's about something important, I'm supposed to make time for the important stuff, am I not? I might be too harsh on me, but a big fight is going right now between my heart and my mind. Between feelings + and the sensitive side of me, and the rational - practical - tough side. I'm physically tired and I'm praying for a good sleep tonight so tomorrow morning my walk in the park will be not only a spending time in the nature, but a time when I find myself again, set my priorities straight, make a change. Maybe, this is just one step to know me better, and one step to be the grown-up I proudly declare I am. 

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