Thursday, May 22, 2014

New Perspectives - the joy thief

Comparison noun \kəm-ˈper-ə-sən, -ˈpa-rə-\
: the act of looking at things to see how they are similar or different
: the act of suggesting that two or more things are similar or in the same category
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

          This year, in my journey I’ve learned a few new things. One of them will be illustrated in the following imaginary conversation:

X texts to Y a picture with Z: “Am I bigger than Z?”
A couple is walking down the street. The girl: “Do you think I’m fatter than that girl?”

          Now, be honest and admit it – you’ve done it. I’ve done it! And most likely the feeling you get from it is not a satisfactory one. You don’t even feel better. It left me doubtful and hopeless. I’d start questioning my abilities to get to my goals – a step away from believing I couldn’t do it. I felt it would be hopeless to do all the work (eat clean and work out), anyway I might never look like that girl. Until one day, it hit me: It is possible I’d never look like someone else. I may always be bigger than someone. And that is OKWe are different human beings – why would I desperately want to be like someone else? I’d stop being me. My body reacts differently to all factors around me – and that is OK.

          To avoid the deceitful consequences of improper comparison, I have decided a couple of things for me:
* The only person I can compare with is my younger self. It feels infinitely better to realize last month I could barely run 90 seconds and now just ran 5 minute. Imagine how I’d feel if I’d compare myself with one that just ran a 5k (let’s not even go to a marathon).
* Look at people for inspiration, not comparison. There are a few people on Instagram that inspire me to keep going: @mollyrunsforlife and @eatingwhole are just 2 of them. It’s hard to look at people for inspiration rather than comparison, but staying focused is important: one inspires me to eat healthy (and gives plenty of healthy food options) and the other one finds such a joy in working out that is contagious.
* Be honest with myself. This journey is not an option anymore. I’m in the process of learning that smaller number on the scale does not equal happiness. Also, I’m keeping things real – if you do it right, you’ll see results. If I slack, I shouldn’t expect results.
* Accept myself. I know you’ve seen it all over the internet, but it’s true. If I don’t like myself now, I will never accept my body. It’s tough, but that’s what it makes it worth it.

What is your joy-thief this week?

Friday, April 25, 2014

New Perspectives

            This year, I’m tired. (You are allowed to say: “WHAT!?!?! You’re just 25!!!”)
    You read correctly. I am tired. I’m tired of giving up. Tired of starting over. Tired of just trying. Of complaining. I’m tired of talking myself down. Tired of not thinking the best of me. I have never thought how much harm I am capable of doing myself by just convincing me I cannot do this or that. I was never aware that one of my biggest complexes was 98% in my head. That I told myself so many times people don’t think the best of me because I’m chubby. (yes, that was hard to put it out here!)
     Even though, in theory I knew it was not true, practically, I was beaten down every single time. On New Year’s Eve, I decided I will stop complaining, comparing, talking myself down and any negative though in my mind and I will start doing. Four months later, a year older, with lots of struggle and tons of discipline and self-control, I am typing this. As my thoughts wander throughout these first months of 2014, I am amazed. For once in my life, I decided I will have no New Year Resolutions, and I’ve done more than I did in the last 3 years: I am learning new things, reading books, discovering new places, trying new things. And the best part? All of these while encouraging myself to be me! So what if the lady in the magazine tells me I should be a size 2 and have (35, 23, 35) measurements? The fact that I can’t fit in a size 2 or 4 doesn’t affect my IQ. (This sounds totally like my sarcastic self) My friends don’t think less of me because of how I look. They appreciate and value my friendship, my loyalty and honesty. They brag about my qualities and make me aware of the parts I still need to work on. I asked my friends to tell me some of my bad habits and things I need to change/work on. I was shocked to realize that the fact that I gained weight was not even on their list. However, all these discoveries did not make me feel more comfortable with how I look. Nor did they vanished all my insecurities. Realisticly speaking, big changes do not happen over night. I came to accept this. So, instead of giving up(just like before), I decided to stick with it. To take small steps, one day at a time.
And miracles happened.

Note: Because the post started to be pretty big, I decided to split it. Stay tuned to read the rest of my story.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

My wishes for you, on this new year

via ~
Print available to buy at French Press Mornings
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."   Isaiah 41:10

This was written for my friend, Maya. When I was done writing it, I felt the urge to share with you. So, here you go, what I wish you this year:

1. To get to know God for who He is ("righteous God")

2. To not worry ("... do not be dismayed")

3. To trust in God (" I will uphold you")

4. To not look for your strenght in any other place ("I will strengthen you")

5. To not feel alone ("I am with you")

6. To have your eyes on God; only then, worring won't make sense ("do not be dismayed, for I am with you")

7. To not look for help or support anywhere else, but to God ("I will uphold you with my righteous right hand")

8. To e aware of the One whom you put your trust in ("I am with you ... I am your God")

9. To expect this year to be challenging. Otherwise, why would this verse be in the Bible? It would be useless.

10. To accept the fact that you need God ("I am with you, I am your God, I will strenghten you, I will help you, I will uphold you")

11. To not think of Him as a common God, but as your personal God ("I am your God") because He talks to you personally ("I am with you")

12. To not be afraid. ("Do not fear, for I am with you")

Happy New Year, my dear!