Monday, April 26, 2010

Spring Feeling...

              The spring feeling that I missed so much, I can't really have time to enjoy it, 'cause I'm making plans and fill my entire time with visions and dreams... about the moment when I'll see Eddie again. Pretty much, my life sums up to this, right now. And I can say, never been happier in the last month. I close my eyes, and picture the moment in my head over and over again... This week I'm gonna buy my ticket, I hope... so another reason to be glad!
             This Saturday was awesome. Just perfect day for going to the beach. I didn't go, but still, I had a good sleep outside in the backyard. It was great. I love how my skin smells in the Spring, or after I lie in the sun. Guess it's weird. Another plus to this weekend, I had a wonderful time talking with Eddie, make some more plans for the wedding, talked to maDa, had a good time (I needed a time with her!), and on Sunday we went to the Romanian Baptist Church. One of my friends from there got baptized. Praise God! It was amazing to be at a Romanian church after a while, and I enjoyed the time I spent with my cherished friends. It's always good to have special friends. You know, I'm looking around and every day I discover how sad people can be. Pathetic, in a way. Ok, pathetic maybe is a little bit too much, but how could I think about something else when I see everybody looking for happiness as it would be something like a prize you'd get after a race. First, happiness is not the destination. Happiness is a way to travel. Second, being selfish and thinking always, only at yourself, you're gonna end up being lonely and gloomy. I would like to, secretly change people's hearts one night. Yes, I sound all like 'love and peace' and 'make love, not war', and it might show me as a naive girl who'd believe anything you'd tell her. The truth is far from this. I think it would be interesting to see people's faces when they discover happiness is just a prayer away. Just a thought changed. A smile instead of a bad word. A loving heart instead of a stone one. A caring hug, a harmless kiss on your chick, a friendly look, a warm word of encouragement. 
              I am glad I know what happiness is, even though right now I miss Eddie like ... I don't have a word to describe that. No words needed when it comes down to Eddie. 

I love You, braveheart!

The Countdown

          There are approximately 3 more months and I'm going to see Eddie. Cannot be more excited about it!!!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Just a Fine Day!...

         Today was, well... a very nice day for me. And it just became even more special... I just realized it's been exactly 10(ten) months since Eddie popped out THE QUESTION and gave me THE RING. We've started "dating" on January 23rd 2007,  (a couple of weeks after we had our first conversation) and we usually 'celebrate' every month, so I'm always focused on the 23rd of the month, not the 24th. Still, it's close, and I am surprised it's been not even one month to forget about it. Contrary, I'm the one who is really possible to forget about our monthly anniversary. Quite unusual for a guy, right? The only reasonable answer I found is that he loves me. And I know he does. Oh, how I love him, too... Can't wait for August to finally be able to meet him again. You guys don't understand how hard it is to have a distance relationship for more than 3 years. Only if you've been there, too. Which I doubt. No offence, everyone. 
    Well well well... I have no idea how am I always ending up talking about love... our love!... I'm in love with love. And it might sound stupid, but love is the most important thing on this planet. How can anyone get bored talking about it or reading about it? Not including the feeling of love. Which is more than just a feeling... a power. The power that makes us humble, and in the same time, it puts us above everybody. But, I was going to say that today was one of those days when at the end, you lie down on your bed and say: "Today was a fine day!" (with a southern accent..). I successfully crossed out some of the things on my to do list, had a nice time with family, ate some pizza, went shopping(and found some really awesome clothes at extremely small prices), slept outside in our big swing (I've been dreaming about it for quite some time...I've missed it), talked to Eddie (it was just PERFECT).. I wish I would've been able to teleport myself next to him at least for 1 minute so I can give him a huge hug and a kiss.. Till then, I'm dreaming about the day when I'll see him again.. 
         I'd be mumbling all night, but I promised my sis we're gonna watch a movie together. So, till next time, guys!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Reality Check

      I wish I was in a place like this.
         Things can easily change into disappointing facts that cannot change your life ever. I've been learning this for quite a while, still didn't realize it till today. In the end, life is not such a big deal as we make ourselves to think. No, I wanna keep it simple. It was an awful day, today, but I enjoyed the rain. It's just perfect... I make it perfect. With my attitude. And tomorrow, I know, I can make it perfect. Will I have the strength to do it?...

Monday, April 12, 2010

Touchable Dreams

      21 things to do in my 21st year of my life:

1. to line up my thoughts with God's thoughts;
2. spend more quality time with people I love;
3. help someone in pain... the best investment in your life, is to invest in people's hearts;
4. forgive and forget;
5. trust people again as I used to;
6. start writing (and hopefully, finish, too) the book I wanted to write for years and never got the chance;
7. set my priorities straight;
8. share more smiles, especially when I'm down;
9. enjoy the friendship of my friends;
10. I will not stop dreaming;
11. visit all those wonderful places where I grew up;
12. I want to become the woman who turns a simple house into a home;
13. count my blessings more often and don't let my fails to get me down;
14. take more pictures;
15. don't stress so much over every little thing;
16. listen to music more;
17. bring to life the child that's hiding inside of me;
18. stop caring so much about what everybody else is thinking about me;
19. have more faith in me and my skills;
20. stop exaggerating my deficiencies and start counting my qualities;
21. never stop being me.

        Dreams become miracles when you believe... 
song of the day

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Getting Any Wiser?!...

              I'm trying to put up a list of 21 things I want to accomplish this year, an idea that Kat at Heart 2 Heart told me about, but it's pretty hard to pick up just 21. I want to do so many things... 
           For now, I just wanted to share something with you, a thought I read it on one of my favorite websites ... it said "Listening, I felt every man has the heart in pain sometimes". It's pretty deep and it hit me. I know I want to be like Jesus, get closer and closer to Him. Listening to what He has to say, this is  the way to get to know Him. 
   I'm not sure I wrote something really understandable, so I'll just go to bed now. Have a wonderful Sunday, fellows!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Twenty + One..

      The List:
- Eddie is the biggest blessing in my life;
- I'm blessed with a special family: big, weird, spread all over the World(almost), but deff lovable, caring, and my parents are the best parents ever (I mean it!!);
- I'm blessed with an abundant life (if it was everything smooth, that would've been too boring);
- I'm blessed with a job and my friends from work are great;
- I'm thankful for the weather;
- I'm thankful for God's peace in my heart even in times of trouble;
- I'm thankful because God is taking care of every single detail of my life, and I just want to be like the clay in His hands - to mold me how He wants;
- I'm thankful for my friends (just a few, but they are precious!);
- I'm thankful God invented the smile. Such a simple gesture can mend a broken heart, brighten up a day, make a new friend, give hope, and wow! - it's FREE!.
          These are just some of my blessing + some of the things I'm thankful for when I start this new year. Yes, I celebrated the 2010 New Years on dec 31- jan 1, but yesterday was my birthday... and I had a wonderful day, but now I'm 21 and I was kind of sad ( I liked 20 ) so, I said a list like that could help a lil bit. What do you say?! I think it's working!!! I feel much better when I read those great thoughts, and when I think at all other tons of blessings. Once again, I proved myself I haven't changed: I can cheer up myself no matter how down I am. 21, here I come! I'm strong and I can do all things! through God who strengthens me. 

Friday, April 2, 2010

Odds of Life...

        Don't you find it people interesting? I will talk only about me, cause I don't wanna hurt anybody, but there is certainly at least one person in the world who could relate with what I'm gonna say. First, life is not the best thing that happens to me right now. Actually, no. It's not said properly. Life is the best thing, only the obstacles are not the best gifts to get. My life is shakin' right now. Everything is a big huge ? (question mark). And when I say it, is serious. Really. I find myself here, in this point, with stupid problems that I make them myself and after that I cry that I'm overwhelmed. And I don't even know if this is the truth about my life in this moment. I said it in the last post, if you have something to say, just say it. And things that are left unspoken hurt the most. Still, I don't practice them. Because of that small thing left unspoken, now I have millions of things I'm not pleased with; wait, nothing pleases me now. If you talk, why you say that. If you don't say anything, why are you quiet? And people that surround me are not helping. Not at all. Not that they would have any idea of what I'm going through right now, but still.. See?? Isn't it odd? I'm not even sharing my problem with somebody and I expect them to act like they'd know 'bout it and like they'd understand me perfectly. And I don't even know if I'm right in this mess I've got myself into. My mistake is that I didn't take the time to sit down, calmly think about things, what happened, how did I get here, what changed and what should I change myself about. Ok, this week I didn't have time. But this is unforgivable, it's about something important, I'm supposed to make time for the important stuff, am I not? I might be too harsh on me, but a big fight is going right now between my heart and my mind. Between feelings + and the sensitive side of me, and the rational - practical - tough side. I'm physically tired and I'm praying for a good sleep tonight so tomorrow morning my walk in the park will be not only a spending time in the nature, but a time when I find myself again, set my priorities straight, make a change. Maybe, this is just one step to know me better, and one step to be the grown-up I proudly declare I am.