Saturday, December 5, 2009

Winter wonderland

    I've been trying to put my feelings on the paper for the last couple of days, but my thoughts keep messing with me.It's like I'm tricking myself.Hard times..
    Today was snowing.It was magical...All that snow, the big snowflakes, the houses, the streets...I hope it'll snow more tomorrow.It makes Christmas seem a lot closer than it is.
    I need a vacation.From my life.You know, when you go somewhere to relax, and spend time with yourself.To recharge your batteries and to remember why you do love life so much.To set your priorities straight and to get your strength back.I had tumultuous days lately.Eddie has the interview for the visa this Wednesday.I feel like my happiness hangs on that day.On that man or woman, who will choose to give or not to give him the visa.I believe, I hope, for a "Yes", and I already am so excited, I started to make plans, but in the same time, a shadow of fear is there in my heart, and a lil bit of sadness, when the question "what if he doesn't get it?" pops up in my mind.Thankfully, I don't think too much about it.I don't even mention it in my mind.Though I need to stay realistic now more than ever, I can't.I find myself in the impossibility of making one right decision, and stressing about pointless things.Time is going fast, even though, the hours seem to be hundreds of years and a day is like an eternity.I want to sleep and just wake up on Wednesday.In the same time, I wish this day to come as slow as possible.It's one of those paradoxes in life you don't have to explain, you don't even try to understand them.I know it's hard to pray in the right way in moments like these, and I challenge myself every time.I pray that He will do the best thing for our lives, no matter what decisions will be made and how it'll be.I trust Him, and I am praying for wisdom to understand His plans, for faith to keep me going and for peace in every phase in my life.
        Life is hard, handle with prayer.

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