Because life happens

                                            

      How many times in your life have you asked God or yourself "Why?Why ME?"..And you keep asking the same question like a broken radio, and don't get any clues.I got tired of asking, so I just sit here quietly and I'm waiting...for worse and worse.I still have tons of questions, who would bother to answer them?I'm barely keeping my feet on the floor, trying to make one more step and I'm looking for somebody to help me, to carry me thru this.The only thing I'm feeling is the darkness around me, the disappointment coming in my way, laughing so evilly at my weakness.No, definitely is not an awesome image, especially not one you'd be fascinated.You know, I've always thought the tough moments in life makes its beauty, it gets harder and harder to say it, not even to believe it.The point is, the tough moments define us.And they help us to cherish the happy, great moments much more closer to their real worth.How much would anybody be able to loose in their life to gain happiness, or peace, or whatever their own dream is about?

        All your life you live with your decisions.Your choices will follow you around no matter how far you would go.This is the scariest part...can I make the right decision?How would I know if that one's the best?Does it worth it?And how will I find out what's the best, if I have just one shot, one chance to get it right?I'm not in a movie to get it straighten up till the 2 hours end, so if I screw up how am I gonna fix everything?Yep, you'll say I'm smart enough to figure out things.Well, I might be smart, but here's another question: will I be strong enough to make it?To take the best decision, to be happy with it no matter what?...
      Happiness is never too far away, as long as you know how to reach it...Am I gonna learn one day how to catch up with it?....
...and all those wanderings because while life happens.

The reason

I asked myself today "do I need a reason to write here?" and after that another question popped into my mind: "do I write here for a reason?" and here I got a lil bit stuck...Cause, if I write here for a reason, I need a reason to keep writing, but if I write here with no reason, than I don't need any reason at all..I guess I have something to think about next few days.
    Last night I got my hair cut.No, don't think about some new chic, fresh haircut, I just had it trimmed(I want my hair long).But even if it's nothing changed(just 1 inch shorter), I felt so good, like I was more confident in me, in what I am doing, and this feeling reminds me of every time when I used to get a new haircut...Every single time is the same...when I walk out of that beauty salon, I feel like I can do anything and if I want, I can conquer the world!(Maybe I should cut my hair more often:)...)And that feeling that everyone is amazed of my haircut and everybody likes it, is so good...even though, maybe nobody notices me or I am as invisible as I was till then, but that feeling is not going away so easy and it feels really good..You girls, maybe understand what I am saying right now..
   The idea I was trying to emphasize here is the strangeness of the situation...Sometimes I choose to care more about some new haircut or some new clothes I just got and all these things make such an impression on me, and I kinda forget all these other more important things in life...Like I feel better when I get a haircut than when I took a very good grade at some test.I now, there are different things, and they can't really compare, but still...Ok, now, to be honest, it's pretty impossible for me not to care about my look ...it's a girl thing.
I think it's time to write about something more interesting, it's been an interesting week until now and I'm very curious how's gonna end.Today, it was first time when I drive in last 12 weeks.Oh, my, it felt soooo good...I was extremely happy even though I had to be really careful not to hurt my hand and not to crash into some other car or whatever...Maybe you guys think 'what`s so big deal you drove?' but you would understand the feeling if you wouldn't be able to drive for a while.And besides, for me, driving a car means freedom.No, you're not stuck on the roads, they just give you the chance to go and discover something new, something interesting.I'm addicted to it and I'm sure everybody is(at least here in US).And yes, I said that, I meant it, but still I enjoy walking and spending time in the nature.
And in the end, I'm wondering why I gave this post the title 'the reason'...but I guess, the reason of this title is this song.