I'm human, and I can't change it!

           Ok, so I failed.I failed at my post about freedom.Actually, I didn't have time enough to finish it.I'll try to post it as soon as possible.I know it's not mature, but I got a pretty good reason:).Tomorrow is Eddie's interview for visa.I was so ...anxious, excited, nervous, afraid, happy, calm, and full of energy, it is actually a cocktail of emotions, like in a carousel.No, this is not a good comparison...It is like somebody took all my emotions, threw them in a blender, put it on maximum speed and left it on.Maybe the same way the pawn feels in a game when somebody throw the dice and its fate will be chosen after that.I know, I can't be a pawn, and they can't feel, but ...It is not easy to stay away and look how other decide how your life's gonna be.Actually, it's not others, I gave this matter to God, and I know He'll do it perfect, I'm praying for it, and I know everything will be fine, but I'm human and I can't change it.I'm waiting for a verdict.I make it sound so sober, but don't forget, it's a serious matter for me!And I think anyone would be the same way(maybe worse than me) if they were in my situation.Today at work I was under so much pressure, even when not thinking about it, that couple of time almost fainted or lost control of my legs.I'm fine, don't worry...The emotions are so huge right now, but I'll be fine.I got my cup of hot tea and the prayer to calm me down.
         I know this Christmas will be magical...