The secret garden in the fall

I love this weather,i don't wanna study, I'd just stay and enjoy the sky, swing a lil bit, probably go for a walk or smth... I feel a lil bit alone today.I don't know why, not that i would be with too many ppl, it's just, this time of the year makes me feel this way.Kind of a loner.I wish I could go back to school this year and make new friends,discover new things, just to go somewhere every day.Oh, crap! I don't understand why ppl always want smth they don't have or can't have(actually, that's the worst part), and never to be pleased, even when u have all. We r made this way, to reach out after perfection, but we don't even know anymore what perfection means. We look at ppl around us and wish to be like them.or to have their car..or phone.Sometimes it gets worst and we want other's wife/husband.We became some immoral hypocrites which are so proud of their stupidity, and we show off to the whole world.And when we do that, everybody wants to be our friend and
envy us for who we are and we become the ones the others will dream to be. I stopped just because I'm afraid of what's gonna be next.It's weird how we took a good thing and switched it into a weird selfish "pursuit of happiness", trying to ruin everything in our marathon after a perfect happy moment, and we forgot how to live happily, we don't care that happiness is a way of life, we just want a chain of happy moments and we are wondering why we are not truly happy till the end.Because we want a single moment to last an eternity and when the moment is gone, we start complaining and we don't like anything anymore, because we stopped searching the happiness in every single second of our lives.Because we spoiled ourselves, we made ourselves to think that nothing, nobody could ever make us that happy again.Because we don't want to try.Because we are so good at turning a great thing into the most imperfect tool in our lives, and do you know what's the scariest part?We enjoy doing it!
I can't tell anybody how to live his/ her life, I'm trying to make a point here and in the same time to remind me some basic stuff. That's all