birthday week!

This last week was full....of cakes and goodies:)..and of birthdays...Because of birthdays we got so much cakes and good meals:).And today we all celebrated everybody's birthday at bowling and after that picnic:)...we had a pretty good time there, I enjoyed every single moment of it, it was like a fresh air..!!!:))
Last night Anna slept over..with me...she almost fell off the bed twice or 3 times, she kicked my butt off but she was sweet...before we actually fell asleep she started to talk..and she couldn't stop talking:))...I almost fell asleep twice...She told me about this movie she saw, "Firefighter" about some bad men who wants I don't know what(I guess I was sleeping at that part) and after that another man started to put chips into people's cavities so he can control their minds and their brains actually turned into red and green and yellow(this was the part were I really payed attention) and after that was 2 girls that flied and rescued the world...And in the end, I found out that the girls were, in fact, 2 agents undercover....Don't you think this is a great movie??:))...Too bad I was that tired, I could've asked her more things...She was sweet, though..:)And now, to translate you guys a lil bit, we saw last night Agent Cody Banks(that's with the cavities and colored brains), and some weeks ago we watched White Chicks(that's the 2 under cover agents ) and Firefighter is actually Fireproof, which I don't really get it cuz she didn't say anything about it but I just guessed anyway...:))...it's amazing how she can remember different things and put them together and in the end, they pretty much make sense...sort of:))...but I like her the way she is and I enjoy every second spend with her and her sisters..:)Mary, her oldest sister, always says she doesn't feel I'm her aunt, she feels like I'm her older sister and to be honest with you, I feel soooo good!!!:)
I'm not gonna talk much about it, but I wanted to write it...three months ago, I left Eddie's city.Do you know what that means??...another 3 months apart.Is it too sad for this post?No, just painful for me..But it worths it.Every second of it..Eddie, you make everything so beautiful in my life!Thank you:*
I didn't post here in a while the song of the day but I just found a really good one and I'm sure you'll like it too..Enjoy it!
song of the day

I hate it..

...when you wanna cry and you can't.I'm so mad right now and it would help a lil bit of crying, it would be refreshing, to let go all my frustrations...but instead of tears, I got a really really bad headache...I hope I'll fall asleep soon...

I am tired.very tired...




What's next?

What do I know about ... ?

I have no idea what am I going to tell you guys, it's a weird feeling I have, I mean, while I was outside entertaining myself on the swing, I knew exactly what I was going to write tonight and what I wanted to tell you..but now, is just...my mind is blank.I don't even know what's worse, not to be able to say what you want to say or to say what you don't even want to say!?..I've read today in my book while I was studying that decisions are what make a computer seem "smart" and I asked myself "do my decisions make me smart?".I mean, let's be honest people, how many times we messed things up just because one imprudent, quick decision we made?How many times you didn't wish for a second chance, how many times you promised yourself you'll be more careful next time and still, you find yourself today with a bunch of broken dreams...It's not exactly about what decisions I have to make, it's only about how do I refer to them?How am I going to face the life, even if I still make mistakes?It's not the decision that makes me smart or whatever, it's just the way I handle it...or I don't handle it.
Secondly, I told you I'll share with you my opinion about No Reservations...and to answer to the comment I got at my previous post, yes, it's the one with Catherine Zeta-Jones.It's a great movie, me personal I've learned some things from that one romantic movie:)...One time Kate(Catherine Zeta-Jones plays her) refers to her job as it is all she is...and Nick(Aaron Eckhart) tells her she is a lot more than just her job, cooking being just a small piece of her and it just made me think a lil bit about how things are with me.(I know it's selfish to talk only about you but it's my blog and I should write stuff about me, right?..or am I wrong?..) I know I let myself thinking that if I can't do some certain things I'm not good at anything, and let me say it, it's the lamest thought somebody can think about himself.For a long time I let others to influence my personality and my thoughts and lots of times instead of speaking out for myself I looked down and I did/said/thought what others told me to do/say/think.So from now I'll try to remember this quote on my life journey, that I'm a lot more than just one thing I'm good best at.I won't forget that not the things make me who I am, I am making the things in this life...Like not that nice story I wrote make me who I am, I invented it, I wrote it.Yes, that story it is a part of me, but it's not defining me...
I guess it's enough with the philosophy so I'll just let you guys enjoy your last days of sunny warm weather...I am so thankful for them!!!

While the trees get undressed

I'm listening my favorite music, and a weird feeling that I should close my eyes and don't think about anything embraces me...my lids fight to open and I find myself smiling.I look at pictures and I wonder when did I grow this much:)...I went at doctor today...it's a weird feeling to hear the doctor saying:"it's not healed yet...what do you want for the next 3 weeks: the brace or cast?"...what do you thing I chose?...of course, the brace...who would want to spend 3 more weeks with a cast on?Even if it was green, I still wouldn't want to "enjoy" that experience again...Today was so nice outside and I didn't really get the chance to sit down out there and enjoy the sun, but I definitely  was happy to talk with Eddie after a long weekend for both of us.
And I need to go back studying, I'm so behind...but this will happen tomorrow..now...movie time:).I found this movie on internet, it's called No Reservation, I'll let you guys know if it worths watching it or not...
xoxo, nami

Bad day

Isn't it weird how a song that used to make you happy and bring a smile on your face, now all it brings is tears and sadness?...Listen this if you're curious to hear one of those songs...I am aware this is not the happiest post ever, but I just write my feelings.And it takes guts to do that...some of you might think different things about this, but you know, I write for me, not to please everybody.I write here what I can't tell my fiance when we talk, not cause I couldn't, just because we don't have enough time to tell each other all we have to share.I put on these papers my heart, so my friends who miss me would be able to have a glimpse of my life from here and so they will know they still are a part of my life.Like I said, being together, but apart.It wasn't easy to leave you guys.It still isn't.I miss every moment I spent with you and I wish I could travel back in time so I can have a piece of that happiness.I guess all those sweet small things we used to do together made the person I am today.I know it's wrong to try to find someone to replace you, it's just disappointing, you can't be simply replaced.I know this, but I don't know why I can't stop doing it.I hope one day I'll meet again with the past and than...well, this will sound sad, but that's true.it won't be the same if some day the past will become the present.Because we all changed, and nothing will be the same..Maybe just our friendship which, I'm afraid it wasn't strong enough not to break.
I'm coming back to you, maDa and Eddie.I have never left you guys.I feel when you are down, I am happy in the same time when you are and this is just happening.maDa, that song is for you..we used to dance and laugh singing it and remember when we both said we can't imagine ourselves being sad listening to it?...It's been quite a while...Now I imagine how our kids will be, I imagine how they're gonna look at our pictures with their friends and they'll say:"she's my mom's best friend ever." ..and let's hope we'll live close enough se we can spend time together like we used to..
Eddie,  my love,  this song is for you.I remember like yesterday when I sent it to you and you said this song is perfect for us.I'm sure it's perfect for lots other ppl, but since I met you I discovered a new way to love, to give, to live my life..Everything makes sense.Flowers smell better, sun shines brightly, days are happier..and if they're not, well, it deserves the fight cause I know in the end, it'll be just you and me.
And finally, for you guys who read this blog...dreams DO come true...and they can last forever if you know how to take care of them.But be careful what you wish for, cause dreams can hurt, can bring you lots of pain, but in the end, you'll see...every single great thing worths a lil pain!..
Be strong!
xoxo,
      nami

Note: Sorry you guys who don't know Romanian, the song for my fiance is a romanian love song, about the perfect love between a boy that just meets his soulmate.She's been there forever, but he just fell in love with her.

Joyful Sunday

For me, it's been a pretty tough week and a pretty full day, but I have here seven things to be thankful for:

1.my relationship with Eddie.For those who don't know, Eddie is my lovely fiance and I can't wait to spend my life with him, to go to bed and wake up next to him, to look after him, to go out together, watch movies under the blanket in a cold rainy day and have fun with.In just a few words, to be with him every day of my life.He is the BEST thing ever happened to me and I am the most thankful for his love, his presence in my life.

2.the trip to New York.I love that city.Is my heart.I love seeing ppl walking down the street, I like the crowds, the streets, the noise, the energy, the feeling of being there...the feeling of being alive that New York gives you..It's like:"Wake up world, there are too many exciting things to lose them!!".There is always something new to discover and some new feelings to experience.

3.my wrist(is healed almost).Finally, I started to move my thumb.Yes, it sounds funny, but believe me, it's amazing to be able to do it again...7 weeks with a cast on is not really a piece of cake.

4.the trip to Niagara Falls.It's been a pretty tired trip, but it worth it!...It is amazing, it feels awesome to be able to see some of the beauty wonders of this earth.It's breathtaking.Speechless..I took lots of pictures, the only thing bothered me, it was really crowded cause it was a sunday and besides, it was Labor Day's weekend...imagine half of the americans + visitors being there...but it was nice, to be able to see all that gorgeous views.Something you can't see every day...Next place I wanna see...Grand Canyon ;)

5.the weather and yesterday.Yes people, yesterday was an important day for my family..My oldest niece got baptised.And her grandparents(her daddy's parents).Isn't it beautiful?..And the weather..well..if yesterday wasn't too hot out(actually, it rained a lil bit), today was sooo nice...sun was out, a lil breeze ...perfect day.
6.driver license.I'm so thankful to have that lil piece of plastic, I'll be so happy when I'll be able to drive again..I can't wait...go for a ride...just because...oohh....freedom, sweet freedom:)
7.the new laptop.One of my dreams, finally came true.I sold my other laptop and I got this other one and plus, I got $100 discount and an iPod for free....just cause I'm a student:).

The secret garden in the fall

I love this weather,i don't wanna study, I'd just stay and enjoy the sky, swing a lil bit, probably go for a walk or smth... I feel a lil bit alone today.I don't know why, not that i would be with too many ppl, it's just, this time of the year makes me feel this way.Kind of a loner.I wish I could go back to school this year and make new friends,discover new things, just to go somewhere every day.Oh, crap! I don't understand why ppl always want smth they don't have or can't have(actually, that's the worst part), and never to be pleased, even when u have all. We r made this way, to reach out after perfection, but we don't even know anymore what perfection means. We look at ppl around us and wish to be like them.or to have their car..or phone.Sometimes it gets worst and we want other's wife/husband.We became some immoral hypocrites which are so proud of their stupidity, and we show off to the whole world.And when we do that, everybody wants to be our friend and
envy us for who we are and we become the ones the others will dream to be. I stopped just because I'm afraid of what's gonna be next.It's weird how we took a good thing and switched it into a weird selfish "pursuit of happiness", trying to ruin everything in our marathon after a perfect happy moment, and we forgot how to live happily, we don't care that happiness is a way of life, we just want a chain of happy moments and we are wondering why we are not truly happy till the end.Because we want a single moment to last an eternity and when the moment is gone, we start complaining and we don't like anything anymore, because we stopped searching the happiness in every single second of our lives.Because we spoiled ourselves, we made ourselves to think that nothing, nobody could ever make us that happy again.Because we don't want to try.Because we are so good at turning a great thing into the most imperfect tool in our lives, and do you know what's the scariest part?We enjoy doing it!
I can't tell anybody how to live his/ her life, I'm trying to make a point here and in the same time to remind me some basic stuff. That's all

Last day of summer

...was yesterday.I spent it in the most perfect way to spend a summer day(especially when is the last one): at the shore...running on the beach, playing with the seashells, laughing with baby seagulls and and flying with the wind.Yes, it was a perfect day.I would've post something yesterday but I was so tired..
On Sunday we went to Niagara Falls.Awesome...amazing..even it was a tough day for me, I tried to enjoy it as much as i could.It was nice, to see that enormous gigantic fall, I felt so small and in the same time I had this strange impulse to jump in the water and to be carried by the strong flow of water.I kept thinking that in this way all my problems and all my sorrows will wash away and get lost somewhere under that rocks.But fortunately, I knew that's not gonna happen so I stopped myself from doing that:).
Coming back in the present...today I was so happy to find out that my best friend ever wrote a post on her blog in my memory..to call back all the good times when we were together even when we slept.:)Thank you maDa, you make me feel special even when you're so far.*big hug for you*I miss all that special things we used to do together.
I laughed.I laughed so hard, I found this funny video on youtube, you can watch it here and if you liked it, just leave a comment i'm curious about ur reactions;))...
And finally, today me and my sister cooked ...brownies:).mmm yummy ..and we spent some time together.While I was sitting there on the swing with her, I realized how cool she is :)and how much fun we can have.I'm lucky she's here:).
I can't just end this post without saying anything about Eddie.I miss him too much to be quiet about it.I so hope he will be able to come here by the end of this year ..I didn't know there are so many things to miss about somebody...excluding his presence, his smile, his perfume, his jokes, his eyes, his smell, his hands, I would stay here all week long and I wouldn't finish with it..ok, so I don't want to grow sad here, so I'll just say the last 5 years was very special in my life...cause now 5 years ago I met maDa, and 2 years ago Eddie became a really important part of my life.:)
So..when the summer goes in vacation, the school starts:)

When a friend is not a friend anymore?

As people, we come and go in other's lives, some need our help, other ones give us a lil bit of their happiness, one time you just can be a rock for poor girl who lost her dog and next time you can be the one who needs a pat on your back.We live together, help each other, have fun together, cry together, we make mistakes and sometimes we are lucky to see anybody else making a mistake and learning it from their pain, but usually we are our teachers, we need to take our decisions, to make our path, to become somebody and to present ourselves to the world.Getting out there with no one to hold on to, it's pretty scary and this is one of the main reasons why teenagers fail to  this heavy burden.We need somebody to plead for us in front of everybody, so in need to share our achievements and failures we choose one person and we show ourselves as we are:with goods and bad.We show them how magnificent, clever, and strong we can be but we don't mind to call them in our desperate times and pour our miserable souls to their feet.We don't panic if they visit us and our house is a total mess cause last week we worked 92 hours instead of just 40 and we don't feel hurt when they say something don't look good on us, cause we know they want the others to see just the best part of us.So, while you start spending more and more time together, your trust in them is becoming bigger and bigger, and you feel you can conquer the world.You are happy you got someone strong besides you and as you receive, you start to give out, too.The perfect moments are your present and it seems to last forever so next step:make plans together.Spend more time together, you do more things together, probably move closer, and your lil need, softly comes into a strong friendship.Everything is awesome and you guys, are like twins, you became addicted to each other, life just is easier and happier.
But, what do you do when you wake up one morning, make your usual call and the voice at the other of the line sounds strange.Friendly and happy, but strange.And things start to change a lil bit...you have the first fight.After that, you choose something different for the first time.You feel like this great friendship keeps you lock in some kind of cage that doesn't let you try anything new.You're scared of being lonely, but you're scared to find unknown things about you. Finally, You choose to go find yourself, and after a while come back;everything is different including yourself and it's not like you didn't expect it, you just didn't think the impact could be so destructive.For the love of the friendship, you decide to keep trying but when the phone calls and you hear that sweet voice that used to bring you so much happiness in your life, you stop listening(for the first time) and you start wondering if you stopped being a friend for the other person, when did it happen and why you two ol' folks can't manage it anymore.You still enjoy being together and doing stuff together, you still cherish every moment, and you still share each other's secrets.You two still rock the world, cry together, have fun together, cook together, you gossip everybody else with the same mysterious look on your face, you even have a bad day together...
You cuddle yourself in the dark and you can't answer the question "when a friend is not a friend anymore?"






Note:This is not really smth I lived, it's just a small story that I find myself thinking about it everyday.

"yellow rubber duck" moment

I love this weather, even fall is not my favorite season.It reminds me of the emotions when you have to go back to school.And all that preparations you need to do:buy new stuff, new clothes, new looks, new friends, new teachers, everything seemed so fresh and new even though you know everybody...Yep, it's the second year when I don't start school at this time of the year but I can't hide my excitement, I miss those days so much, when you meet your friends and go to school together, you're never too tired to tell everyone how awesome was your vacation and how happy you are to be with them again...
There are in everybody's life some certain things that reminds you of something...like the old necklace reminds you about your grandma or the big teddy bear hidden in your closet reminds you of your nights when you used to hug him when you had a nightmare, or the wooden box that conceals some of your "treasures" since you were 9..I have some of those things, too and I cherish them so much because they 'bring' me back my memories, they make me relive parts of my life.And sometimes, these little "doors to the past" are more than just things packed in boxes or words written untidy on some old piece of paper...sometimes, the memories are brought back by a word, a simple gesture, an innocent smile, a friendly look.Last night, a little yellow rubber duck was the link to the past.I saw it in one child's hands and I felt like I'm flying back  in time.Maybe that e-mail you sent today felt the same way I felt.It was an interesting, full of nice, warmth smiles journey...
I love the way some of the most ordinary things can give you a glimpse of your memories.
song of the day

the letter

I got a letter, too...from the emergency room...I owe them $1,056.52...I'm...umm..that's "terrific"!!!!:)


Note: Do not lose your faith:)..there is always a bright part of everything!

the call

I got a call today..."Do you wanna go to New York again?" ...what should I say??:)
song of the day